just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize
