I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
