She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
