Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
