I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
