We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
