sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
