I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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