i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
