garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
