Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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