Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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