Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
