It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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