I want to have your abortion
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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