called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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