hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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