What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
