That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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