Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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