Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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