Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
