But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
