8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
nutella sex= disaster
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
