i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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