fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
