I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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