I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
