A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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