Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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