we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
