Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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