You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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