idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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