Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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