I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
