It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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