I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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