i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
