He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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