i just google imaged poop.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
