She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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