don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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