So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
