So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
