I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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