Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
