I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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