JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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