she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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