you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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